The Prodigal Blog

Well, folks, more than a few of you have told me in person that you're still checking this blog even though I haven't posted anything in a really long time. I'm surprised to find that anyone finds me that interesting and a little embarassed that I don't really take the time to edit my thoughts.

So, let me tell you, it has gotten incredibly busy since I have decided to come out of seclusion.

While I really enjoy the interaction, I have also realized that my threshold of...?...has really shrunk. I'll elaborate and y'all can give me the word I'm looking for:

I enjoy the one-on-one interaction with people and so, it's not that hard to show them I care. Sometimes, it's giving them things that I know they would like and that I happen to have but don't use. Or, it's lending an ear. And a lot of folks are very thankful and to show appreciation, they try to include me in their life's milestones. Most of that involves, commemoration of said milestones, a.k.a., social events.

Problem is, I've never been one to enjoy being singled out at said social events and being thanked for things I think are just basic between people who care about each other. If you allow me to show you I care and thank me quietly, I will never hesitate to give you what I can, if not more. I'm told this is something that is hard to come by these days and this makes what I do that much more meaningful. I truly wonder how horrendous the world is if the little things I do seem so significant to others.

When I am put on the spot (or rather, put in the spotlight), I get intensely uncomfortable - almost to the point of wanting to retreat. I may even go against my grain and stop what I had been doing. I am really troubled by this aspect of my nature.

I like to think of myself as the guy who made the backdrop for a stage production. I would rather be that guy than the actors providing the show. People still enjoy what I made but don't have a clue what it took to create it and who did it. All they 'know' is that the show was great. Maybe to someone who creates backdrops, it does matter if people know who they are and I've got it all completely wrong. It seems to me that getting more jobs in the future is kudos enough.

For me, it is enough to know that I made someone's life easier. No fan fare, no effusive show of gratitude. Just a simple thanks.